When it comes to love even the strongest, most fearless, independent women lose their sense of reasoning. I've watched it happen over and over - women leave there self-respect behind in hopes that a man who was so sweet to her before will continue to show interest in her. They cling to the words and feelings of the past, and become desperate when things change in the slighest - fearing another loss. Is it so hard to let go? To let go of something that might not have even happend yet?
I was reading an msn conversation that my friend sent me the other day, there happend to be this guy she was really into, and who appeared at the beginning to be just as interested in her; however; while reading this conversation I realized how desperate she was coming across for him to feel and say the things he did when they first started to speak with one another. It was as if she was clinging to a possibility that could have been at one point and was in fear to realize that maybe things have changed. She kept bringing up all the sweet things he had once said, almost quoting it from the text messages she still had saved on her phone. She let him know that whenever she was having a bad day, she would re-read the messages to brighten her day back up. I'm sorry to say this to my friend, but are you for real?
After overcoming the shock of hearing my once strong, independent friend, I started to wonder - what makes a women become so desperate?
I decided to first get the male perspective of this matter. The day after reading the msn conversation my friend had sent me, I ventured to the park to meet up with an old flame and his daughter - after catching up, I decided to discuss this matter with him. Primarily, I wanted to know how to tell her gently that she was coming across desperate. Later I asked him my trival question, in which he responded: 1) The person has a fear of being alone, or 2) Maybe the person thinks that the other person is there one and only, and no other will ever do.
After pondering this for a while, I decided to get a wider range of the male perspective. Later that evening I asked my male co-worker for his insights; without giving him any prior knowledge as to why my question came to be. He responded simply; 1) They're horny, or 2) They're lonely. Since neither one of these seemed to slightly resemble my friend, I gently pushed forward and asked: what if the guy had once shown interest then stops? Again, I got a simple reply; the girl misses it. Could it really be that simple? I refused to believe so, so I dared to ask yet another.
That night, I facebooked a couple of random guys, whomever was online at that time. Most of their answers circled around the idea of: 1) Loneliness, 2) Depression and 3) Being sexually deprived. I was almost on the verge of losing hope to a psychological hypothesis, until an old co-worker of mine, whom I hadn't spoken to in ages signed onto facebook. I quickly bombarded him with my question. After much fustration of trying to say in which way women become desperate, I seemed to have answered my own question.
Many people, not just women, become desperate for anyone that will give them attention. No matter how much people deny it, every single person on the planet is driven - at least partially - by the need for social acceptance. We psychologically CANNOT survive without it.
He continued to say that if a person feels that someone accepts them more then others, then they become attached to that person easily. So when a person feels that there arn't enough people who accept them the way they want, they start branching out, and become desperate for people who WILL accept them. Usually leading to the opposite gender. It was pure psychology! To some degree every single person is desperate, whether it appears that way or not. It's just the people who find themselves satisfied that they're accepted enough, don't ever feel the need to become desperate for friends.
Simply; when we become unsatisfied, we become desperate.
Even if we're subconciously unsatisfied, we compensate by attempting to create an environment we're happy in. Whenever the Human Mind finds itself unsatisfied, you WILL strive to create an environment that you think will lead you to be satisfied. Even if you don't notice it, you do. Everyone, from crackheads in Jubilee to Bill gates, to You and I.
After going over this myself, I too have realized times where I have been desperate for the approval and acceptance of another human being. This just goes to show us, that the Human Mind is our greatest mystery.
